Waiting
a sigh, a whisper cast down upon me like wind from the wing of a bird
then silence so loud it could shatter stone
empty thoughts fill my head as I await your answer
synapses firing though they do not know why
they cannot be conscious of the efforts I have made here
the silence now echoing through the pathways in my mind
I wonder, am I ever going to be happy again?
you speak, but nothing coherent
another pause and my mind races, seeking the finish line
time seems to be to cold to move
and yet the energy here is too great for me to comprehend
feeling like you do not know the answer to my question
I give you more time to think
and more time for me to doubt myself
why did I not ask you sooner
surely I have waited too long to ask
but can a person really wait too long?
I sicken myself with these thoughts
thoughts that I cannot live up to
you open your mouth to speak and I listen intently
the words that you have said sit still
as my heart listens intently along with my ears
self-righteously I reach up and scratch the back of my neck
anxiety wins and my nerves of steel have reached their melting point
you turn around and say the things that I have dreaded the most
nothing